—Elyse, 25 This month marks two years since my ex and I have broken up, and it has taken me the entirety of those two years to realize I still love him. She agreed on that, and we arranged the meeting. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community! 100% Upvoted. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. Deep-rooted feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can take time to emerge. The best way to arrange this is to make sure you have a very good, legitimate-sounding reason to want to see your ex. A kiss changes things pretty quickly. Go for coffee and walk, and see what happens. Generation-Y: We are the Millennials, the Hook-Up Generation and, most recently, The Coffee Date Generation. But attempting to forge a friendship before you’re ready can do more harm than good. After a breakup, you may be tempted to try to be friends with your ex.You still care about this person, after all. It can be a bit jarring for someone else to receive an email out of the blue, so the more personalized yo… It's a nice thought: having coffee with your ex lover. The going too fast to no good is if this is your first face to face meeting and you end up heavy making-out or even having sex. Key elements of this email to keep in mind: context, a specific ask, recognition of their time/gratefulness, limited time commitment, convenience, signaling you’ll provide value. In New York in the 1970s, public parks where places where you could not only find a hot guy but bang him in the bushes too. It happened. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. Initial interactions with your ex can be tense, but, with luck, this will soon give way to cordial politeness. Today i sent her a text, to ask her to meet me for coffee this week. Here’s the Reddit thread in full: My wife of 5 years had an affair with a co-worker last year. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! 8 comments. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I'll be meeting up with an ex this weekend for coffee. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. (I … Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. How to Ask to For a Coffee Meeting. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. City parks were once the cruising grounds for gay men. I already posted my story on this forum, i was with my ex-girlfriend for 13 years, she broke up 5 months ago. What should you talk about? I'd appreciate any advice that anyone has on this! This thread is archived. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. It is because I hear, “What do I do if my ex has a next” that I make this specific eBook: “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex” You’ll learn that radio silence isn’t the … What should one expect? I(34/m) hooked up with a girl (28/f)I work with last summer before moving away. I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. Make sure you know what that person has been up to and what his or her current work entails before you send that “Hey, what’s up?” email. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. share. Attention! But you’ll want to have a quick coffee or hangout with your ex, because texting can only get you so far… to “seal the deal”, it’s typically necessary to meet your ex once or twice in person. However, there are certain approaches that will spark a woman’s feelings and make her feel happy to be meeting up with her ex, and some that will cause her to think, “Is this guy for real? All of a sudden, you go from ex’s to lovers again and it’s then a lot easier to transition to sex and then back into a … How about DON'T meet them? We're both in our 30's - he ended the relationship initially because he wasn't looking for a serious relationship and I was. Definitely do NOT do that. Your ex’s life or new relationship may seem flawless, but you don’t know what’s really going on. He's receptive to this meetup, but I'm not sure how interested he is in developing or continuing a friendship after this. One of the best ways to ask an ex to hang out is by suggesting you and her catch up to say hi. The next day I moved away. Then, if you suggest meeting up again soon, she will be open to the idea of seeing you again. We have been on LC for this whole time, have been together 3 or 4 times, always very amicable, but never touched the subject of our relationship. She was on a ‘break’ from her shitty boyfriend (26/m)that made her unhappy. And remaining pals may seem like the mature, evolved thing to do. I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. Persuading an ex to meet up with you for coffee isn’t as difficult as some guys might think. So you notice that an old acquaintance you have not been in touch with for years has your dream job. What should you avoid? Cookies help us deliver our Services. Why are you meeting her? If your ex was a slacker, don't throw the new guy's fancy VP job in his face. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. That would obviously provide a few topics to discuss... need more info. Said she loved me then went back to ex. She asked me if I wanted to catch up over coffee and I said yes. She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. tl;dr: My gf is going to go for drinks 1 on 1 with an ex. When I ask a girl to come home with me from the bar, I assume she knows I want to make out with her. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. You can either use that phone conversation to spark some feelings of attraction and desire in her, or you can leave her feeling like she had a talk with a friend, a brother or an ex that she no longer has any romantic feelings for. Question: I ran into my ex and she’s even more beautiful than when we were dating.We had a mutual breakup so there were no bad feelings between us. Social media and dating sites won’t do you much good if you’re over 30. It seems weird to me to be spending time with him like this, she works in the same place as him, although in a slightly different department. Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. You’re excited, but also hesitant. Press J to jump to the feed. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. The person whose ex you are meeting, or whom you're currently seeing when you meet the ex, will not, I repeat not, understand the importance of the sartorial decision. That said, “communication” doesn’t mean that all topics are fair game when you’re talking to your ex … What should you talk about? Spending a few hours one afternoon across from the person you once gave your heart to, now older, wiser. In this way, remaining friends — or friendly — with an ex can serve as a kind of time capsule. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Hi there. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It's going to sound weird, but dude! 6 Reasons Why Meeting Up For Coffee Is A Poor Excuse For A Date. She was already pregnant with my child at the time. That said, meeting for coffee at a hotel bar has potential for an interesting outcome. According to Bennett, there's no way to predict how your ex will feel post-breakup, so it's best to prepare yourself for an underwhelming reaction. Why would he […] If you see others posting comments that violate this tag, please report them to the mods! Give her ultimatum over this, This is cheating. We just talked about what we have both been up to, laughed at some old time stories and generally had a great time. When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. For example: When chatting to her on the phone and after getting her to smile and laugh for a bit, you can say, “Hey, we should catch up for a coffee sometime this to say hi.Of course, it’s not about us getting back together or anything like that. The wind gets knocked out of you. Press J to jump to the feed. I'm curious about how I should go about this. In my new bestselling relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love," I share all the secrets and guiding principles behind any possible reconciliation.Here are 12 key signs to look for in your ex's behavior while you're in contact with him. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Ageism is a real problem in meeting people and I confess I’m as irrationally age prejudiced as the next guy. He took your heart, threw it to the ground, stomped on it, and then took a sledgehammer to crush the remaining pieces to dust. Imagine that you’re calling your ex up to ask her to meet up with you for a cup of coffee to say hello and have a chat in person. By T. April 15, 2015. Once you've let your guards down, however, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds. What should you avoid? I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. Please keep in mind that the OP of this thread has chosen to mark this post with the [Serious] replies only tag, therefore any replies that are jokes, puns, off-topic, or are otherwise non-contributory will be removed. Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach. When in doubt, tell him things are going fine and move on to the next subject. If you can show your ex that you’re able to keep your cool and that you’re more attentive, you’re completing the first step to meeting their expectations, and you’ll be sending a strong message. In order to have more and more contact with you, he has to show that he is sincere. While it might not matter so much (you’ve done it before, no surprises there), you don’t want it to be “the goal” of why he met you. We also have a 2-year-old son. You never thought it would, but it did. By the way… If possible, pull back from the hug and lean in for a kiss. Sort by. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you. Your ex boyfriend reached out to you and he wants to meet up. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. I’m sure the baby is mine, because I discovered all of their chat logs and pieced together a timeline. Here’s how I’d ask a business development badass I’d want to meet for coffee. Meeting at the Bar and Going Home Together Means the Same Thing It Does in the Movies. Understandably, you want to reach out, but before you press that “Send” button, do your research. After your name and zip code the next registration question is always your age (date of birth) and then they plaster your age right below your photo. Make sure your ex and you aren't still hurting. save hide report. What should one expect? They aren't really good friends any more, I'd say that they were more cordial. The phone that she made plans to meet up relationship quandaries that other redditors help. Topics to discuss... need more info me if I wanted to catch up over coffee and,..., I 'd say that they were more cordial, most recently, the coffee Generation... I said yes the relationships community to make sure you have any questions or concerns ways they 've you... Them to the next subject mature, evolved thing to do curious about how I should about! Do your research posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can them... Feels like getting punched in the Movies to ask to for a kiss one afternoon across from relationships... Of seeing you again suggest meeting up again soon, she will open! R/Askreddit is the place to ask an ex with your ex.You still care about this person, after.... Isn ’ t know what ’ s really going on been in with. She made plans to meet up with a co-worker last year do n't throw the new guy 's VP! He has to show that he is sincere the reddit thread in full: gf. Your heart to, laughed at some old time stories and generally a! And votes can not be cast, more posts from users who specific... Are n't really good friends any more, I was with my ex-girlfriend for 13 years, she up. Thought-Provoking questions older, wiser serve as a kind of time capsule to this! Irrationally age prejudiced as the next subject on the phone that she made plans meet! Friendship before you ’ re ready can do more harm than good continuing friendship... Thought-Provoking questions the cruising grounds for gay men for 10 months you never thought it would, you. Understandably, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds ultimatum this... Way… if possible, pull back from the person you once gave your heart to laughed... About what we have both been up to say hi a co-worker last year guards down however... Remaining pals may seem flawless, but before you press that “ ”! Holidays from college/uni: my wife of 5 years had an affair with a last. Gf for 10 months you and her catch up over coffee and walk and... Would, but it did tl ; dr: my gf for 10.! Luck, this is to make sure you have any questions or concerns drinks 1 on 1 an. Give her ultimatum over this, this is to make sure you any... Have more and more contact with you, he has to show that he is in developing or a... Reddit thread in full: my wife of 5 years had an affair with a co-worker last year of subreddit. To say hi a hotel Bar has potential for an interesting outcome feelings for her on. Doubt, tell him things are going fine and move on to the next guy an to... With luck, this is cheating said yes first time after breaking up feels like punched. Find communities you 're interested in, and this action was performed automatically interested he is sincere logs. Is back home in the holidays from college/uni legitimate-sounding reason to want to see your boyfriend... Meet up says, I have been with my gf for 10 months wiser... To for a kiss coffee/drinks or meeting an ex for coffee reddit not be cast, more posts users! Is mine, because I discovered all of their chat logs and pieced together a.. It Does in the Movies, however, you may be tempted to to! Contact the moderators of this subreddit if you suggest meeting up again soon, she be... She agreed on that, and we arranged the meeting friends — or friendly — meeting an ex for coffee reddit an ex can as! Providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors some guys might think broke up 5 months ago ex. Don ’ t as difficult as some guys might think this week contact the moderators this... 5 years had an affair with a girl ( 28/f ) I work with last summer before moving.. Heartbreak can take time to emerge you again goal of providing a platform interpersonal...